We are often asked about the types of resource requests that we receive at Hope4Healing, and we received a request today that seemed to be a good time to discuss both the type of request and how you can get involved in helping solve a need.
We received a request from a single mother who has a young daughter who will be going into kindergarten this fall. She was driving along the highway and went to hit the brakes only to have all four lock up on her and almost put her in the ditch. She explained that she just barely touched the brakes, but she was whipped around like she had slammed on the brakes. Not only are the brakes bad, but one of the struts on the car desperately needs to be replaced, but she can’t afford to get all of the work done. So what is this mother to do? Without a car she can’t work. This mother’s request was to help her find a new car for somewhere between $600.00 to $1,000.00. We, and this mother, know the reality that for $1,000.00 or less you won’t get much of a car. She has save for years to get this nest egg, so the reality is that she can’t afford a car payment. Sometimes it feels like life is against us, especially when we try to do the right thing.
You could reward this mother and her family in various ways; and it is in those ways that you can partner with Hope4Healing to make a difference. The easy answer is that if you have a decent, good running vehicle to sell this family you could easily fulfill this need. You can also pray for these families to hold them up and encourage them during the struggle they are facing in their life. However, did you know that you could donate money to Hope4Healing since we are a 501 c 3 not for profit organization and earmark it to help with requests like these? Finally, did you know that you can donate items to Hope4Healing like vehicles, land, houses, etc…? Even if the item donated does not benefit a family directly, the sale of the item can be used to help Hope4Healing’s budgetary needs to help families in need across Iowa. As with any donation, it is always best to consult a financial consultant to best identify how to properly make a donation.
If you would like to find out more about how to make a donation or to find out about the other ways you can get involved, call us at 855-584-HOPE (4673) ext. 700 to talk with Hope4Healing’s Executive Director, or email us at Info@Hope4HealingQuakerdale.net .
Have you ever looked into the eyes of a hurting child to see true heartbreak, fear, hurt, and anger? What started out as a normal day of work one warm day last summer at my part-time job as a daycare worker, turned out to be a life-changing experience for myself. I have always enjoyed working with kids, planning activities, taking them on field trips, and listening to their dreams, and excitement about their planned summer activities; however, when I entered the doors one day last summer, I heard a child sobbing uncontrollably. The new child would not stop crying, and as I reached out to the child I will call “Drew” to protect his identity, “Drew” grabbed my lower leg and would not let go. I quickly got his attention by speaking to him about animals, and colors, and then out of desperation grabbed the bottle of “magic” bubbles, and blew some bubbles with the wand in the air. Watching the bubbles float through the air, 4-year old “Drew” started to smile and the tears quickly dried up, and as quick as that– I had made a new little friend. “Drew” and I had “connected” , and after that whenever I was at work, my new little buddy followed me everywhere, and didn’t want to see me leave.
The other staff at the daycare struggled often to care for “Drew” as he was constantly in tears, exhibited fear of changing classrooms, and feared going outside– which made it difficult to transition him and the other children. During the day, the children typically changed locations from place to place for lunch, playtime, bathrooms, nap time, etc, and every time we changed rooms or went to a different location, the constant tears and fears were exhibited. “Drew” would hit the other children on the playground, and did not want to share any of the toys– ever, he wanted to keep all of them. It was very clear that this child had undergone trauma in his past, as we would later find out the hurt, anger, confusion, were understandably part of the puzzle.
One day I had to work late and close the center, and had an opportunity to meet “Drew’s” mother whom I will call “Mary” to protect her identity as well. I had hoped to meet “Mary” after an unusual incident had happened on the playground that afternoon, you see “Drew’s” only pair of shoes (a cheap 50 cent pair of flip flops) broke. This sent “Drew” into hysterics saying mommy be upset, mommy be upset. This truly broke my heart, and I wanted to meet his mom to see how the daycare staff could help. When “Mary” came in, she broke down crying to find out that Drew’s sandals were broken as she did not have funds to replace them. After talking with “Mary”, she told me about her situation; she had recently escaped from a terrible domestic violence situation, and had left with nothing other than her child. She had been homeless before she had finally found a recent job as a waitress, which was difficult due to her limited education, and not having her GED. Mary was excited to receive her first paycheck soon, but she was worried because she was also six months pregnant and didn’t know how she would manage once the new baby was born. In the meantime, she didn’t know how to get help, where to turn, how to get food for the weekend, or where to find “Drew” a new pair of shoes. So, I grabbed some Hope4Healing cards on the daycare table in the hallway, and told “Mary” that she might want to give Hope4Healing a call to see if they could help.
Hope4Healing helped “Drew” and “Mary” with their difficult situation, and the transformation that happened was amazing as Hope4Healing was able to find Drew clothing, shoes, toys, and books, located affordable housing for the family, helped her get groceries, find baby clothes for the new baby on the way, and helped them find a local church to attend. The local church that Mary went to also had a single moms program, and so not only were their physical needs met, but the support she received through the single moms group gave her the encouragement she needed. Slowly, Mary began to see a way out and a path forward, and although not perfect, their situation improved. Drew and Mary also obtained counseling and saw improved behavior in Drew.
Hope4Healing truly lived up to their name, and I saw first-hand how “Drew and Mary’s” lives were changed”. I appreciate the opportunity to speak on their behalf, and also your understanding of the need to still protect their identity in light of all they have been through. This story is the story of many single mom’s and children that Hope4Healing has helped; I know this first hand, because this experience was a turning point for me also. You see, it was after this experience, that I realized that I wanted to do more, and I began to volunteer to take phone calls on a regular basis for Hope4Healing. Every week on the phone, I speak to many people who are hurting, but especially single moms with young children who are out of options; they are broken–mentally, physically, and emotionally and don’t know where to turn.
As I mentioned earlier, this situation truly broke my heart, and I am glad that Hope4Healing was able to be there, but I can’t help but think about all of the other “Mary and Drew’s” out there that still need help. You may think (like I had) that you are too busy to help make a difference, but I would encourage you to consider donating your time or finances if you are able to help out organizations like Hope4Healing that work with youth and families in need. Looking back, last summer was a turning point in my own life, and through meeting “Drew and Mary”, my own perspective changed, as I caught a glimpse of life through the eyes of this hurting child.
Hope4Healing has been active in hosting several parent cafe’s throughout Central Iowa this summer. We hosted a cafe in Marshalltown, and Eldora during the month of May, and this next week we will help host a parent cafe in Toledo, and Grinnell, Iowa.
Chances are you may be wondering… what exactly is a parent cafe? Parent Cafés are physically and emotionally safe spaces where parents and caregivers talk together about the challenges and victories of raising a family. During a cafe, participants use self-reflection and peer-to-peer learning, explore their strengths, learn about the Protective Factors, and create strategies from their own wisdom and experiences to help strengthen their own families.
As a mom, I look forward to attending parent cafe’s! The atmosphere is fun, inviting, and it is rewarding to meet other parents and caregivers and learn from their experiences. Parent Cafe themes vary, our current theme is “Striking A Balance Between Screen Time and Scream Time”. If you live near Toledo or Grinnell, Iowa please consider joining Hope4Healing next week, or if you would like to see a parent cafe come to your area, please let us know! Please feel free to share this post with anyone you know that may be interested. For more information, or to register, please click on the links below!
Hope4Healing was thankful to be a part of the Lennox Quakerdale Golf Fundraiser yesterday, and enjoyed the banquet last evening! We appreciate all that Lennox, the fundraising committee, and many corporate and area sponsors have done to help make non-profits like Hope4Healing able to continue to make a difference in the lives of children and families throughout Iowa .
Congratulations to Lennox! After an exceedingly difficult year of rebuilding after the Marshalltown tornado, they went above and beyond again, raising the most funds they had ever raised to date for the golf fundraiser. The proceeds from this event will be divided between each of the 5 non-profits pictured below.
(Left to right) Dave Smith-Wolfe Ranch, Beth Andrew-Quakerdale Family Services, Julie Schroeder-Promise Academy, Mark Schroeder-Eagles Basketball, and Ryan Keller-Hope4Healing.
In my previous article, I wrote about the role of our “Friendship Partners” and how important that role is in the success of those that we help. I explained that our “Friendship Partners” practice intentional friendship. Not surprisingly, the idea of intentionally making friends can seem daunting to some individuals; especially, in a day and age where we consider people we never see or interact with except on social media to be friends. So I thought it would be beneficial to share an article I read from Mayo Clinic entitled “Friendships enrich your life and improve your health”. (https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/friendships/art-20044860)
This article explains that friendships provides the following benefits:
Increase your sense of belonging and purpose
Boost your happiness and reduce your stress
Improve your self-confidence and self-worth
Help you cope with traumas, such as divorce, serious illness, job loss or the death of a loved one
Encourage you to change or avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits, such as excessive drinking or lack of exercise
Like any good investment, the benefits of friendship only come after making the effort. Like being a good athlete, a good parent, or a good employee, we invest the time in our passions in order to enjoy our successes. There are days the athlete doesn’t want to practice, there are days parents want to pull their hair out, and there are days when we consider quitting out jobs; but at the end of the day, the athlete practices to be able to win the game, the parent deal with the pain a child can bring to see them develop into competent adults, and the employee enjoys both the paycheck and has the potential for a raise or promotion. Anything worth doing requires both effort and joy.
Friendship is no different! The one cool thing about the benefits listed above is that both sides of the friendship benefit. You see the “Friendship Partner” receives the benefits of intentional friendships just as much as the person or family-in-need being served through the Hope4Healing network. The article helps to explain some useful information about where to make friends:
Attend community events.
Extend and accept invitations.
Take up a new interest.
Join a faith community.
Take a walk
Did you catch it? Even Mayo Clinic sees the value in friendships with individuals from faith communities. They also give some helpful advice on how to make friends:
To nurture your friendships:
Show that you can be trusted
Make yourself available
Manage your nerves with mindfulness
I never knew how much good could come from friendship for my own health. Did you? What greater gift could we give another person that a healthier life through our friendship. I encourage you to read the article in its entirety. With your current friends, next time you are with them remember you are giving them more than your time; you are giving them a healthier life.
You know at Hope4Healing, like other places, we have terms that we use to describe who we are or what our partners do; sometimes, we forget that others may not understand the terms we use. I would like to share with you about one of our partner relationships that often is misunderstood. Hope4Healing, unlike other resource assistance networks, has a unique partner called the “Friendship Partner” or sometimes called the “Church Partner”. These two terms can be used interchangeably depending on what group we are talking too.
Our partnerships work like ingredients in a recipe; the final product doesn’t work if each ingredient (or partner) is not in the mix. With all of our partners working together, the end result is appealing and fulfilling for those families and individuals we serve. The other important part of that illustration is to understand that because each partner has a role to play, we take time to make sure our families and individuals that we serve know what each of our partners roles are and how they work. This is an important delineation; because just as you couldn’t substitute salt for sugar in a recipe, you can’t substitute a “Friendship Partner” for a “Referral Partner”, “Resource Partner”, or the Hope4Healing staff.
So what does a “Friendship Partner” do? Their job is to provide intentional friendship. Does that seem strange to you? How can friendship be intentional? We often believe that good friends happen because of some mysterious force or fate that brings two people together and the just click. Although it is true that similar interests or character traits might bring us together, it is the investment of time and intentionally make time for our friends that secures the friendship. It is only after these intentional efforts that we feel able to share our fears, be vulnerable, and to trust another person for emotional and spiritual support in our lives. It goes along with the old adage that “…know cares how much you know, until they know how much you care…” The best illustration of friendship being intentional is that of a married couple. When the couple dated, one or both were very intentional in wanting to get to know the other person. Dates were often planned to the most intricate detail, and were designed to be romantic so as to further develop an interest in being together. Often after marriage, and I see this everyday as a marriage and family therapist, one or both spouses forget to continue to intentionally pursue each other. The marriage becomes cold; and when they sit in the office across from me, they are astonished that they need to plan date nights and personal time together. After all, in marriage shouldn’t love be spontaneous, exciting, and shouldn’t we know each other so well that we can read each other’s minds? We forget how intentional we were when we dated.
The old saying goes that “…strangers are just friends we haven’t met yet…” We partner with churches across the state of Iowa to provide intentional friendships for the families and individuals we serve. On a basic level, we do this because there is a church in every community across Iowa, and church people are willing to provide intentional friendships without expectation of being reimbursed. Churches are uniquely equipped to provide emotional and spiritual support. If you are a church member who wants to learn how to be an intentional friend, check out this link from Little Light on a Hill: https://www.littlelightonahill.com/intentional-friendship/ . But, just as salt cannot replace sugar, remember that our “Friendship Partners” are not responsible for finding your resources or providing your resources. Their role in the Hope4Healing process is to encourage, be a true friend, and to be your personal, local connection to Hope4Healing; instead of talking to some stranger on the phone.
We would love to hear your questions or come present to your church, small group, or organization about what we do and how we can partner together to help families and individuals in need.
The poem above is so meaningful. For many people a Christmas tree is a road map to all the memories and traditions that a family holds so dear. We are keenly aware that this Christmas will be more difficult for families in the Marshalltown, Iowa and surrounding areas due to the tornado back in July. Many will not have a Christmas tree that holds all of the memories of Christmases gone by. We here at Hope4Healing are partnering with the Northeast Iowa Area Agency on Aging to help bring a little Christmas spirit and joy to deserving families. Would you help us give a special Christmas present to a deserving family? Here is how you can help!
We are looking for gently used or new Christmas trees and ornaments to provide to individuals and families to help them start new Christmas memories and traditions! If you would be willing to donate an artificial Christmas tree, ornaments, maybe even some gift cards, or make a monetary donation, we will get them decorated and delivered to deserving families. Your help could be difference between making someone’s Christmas be filled with warmth and happiness and feeling like it is just another day. The trees will be decorated and on display at the Wolfe Ranch’s Christmas in Stables event on December 14th and 15th, and we will update with pictures on our Facebook page!
We will need all donations by December 6, 2018 in order to make these wonderful gifts happen. Please contact us at 855-584-HOPE (4673) to make arrangements, or click the button below to make a monetary donation toward this event. Thank you for helping us spread Christmas cheer through this event, and to help provide hope and healing to deserving families this Christmas!
A friend of mine posted a very inspiration video of a Vietnam veteran named Richard Pimentel giving a speech about how to live life with purpose. There are many good points from the video and I would encourage you to watch it below, but I want to encourage you to think about one part of his speech. Mr. Pimentel tells of how he was camped out on a ridged with other soldiers and they were outnumbered 20 to 1. They could not be rescued due to fog, but a path could be cleared for escape. In order for this plan to work, it would require 5 men to stay behind to cover the retreat of the others. It was at this moment Mr. Pimentel learned an extremely valuable lesson about “responsibility”. His sergeant taught Richard what responsibility really means. He explained that “responsibility” is the combination of two words “response” and “ability”. He explained that we have to answer two questions:
Do I have the ability to take on a situation?
What will my response be in terms of my ability?
Hope4Healing has had a record year of helping those in need. We have assisted with over 1,256 requests this year which has seen an impact of over $750,000.00 for those we have served. This impact was realized because Hope4Healing was able to find those businesses, individuals, organizations, churches, and entities that had the “ability” to help. Each of these partnerships was made in “response” to wanting to be utilized to help others. Hope4Healing has been blessed to receive support from those who have had the “ability” to “respond” to our ongoing financial needs, and that support has seen Hope4Healing be able to meet its basic needs. As we look forward to 2019, Hope4Healing wants to maintain our “ability” to “respond” to the needs of those we serve; but due to unexpected circumstances, we know that we will not receive the same level of support as we did in 2018 from some of our financial supporters. This is not due to a lack of confidence in Hope4Healing’s mission; instead, it is due to those supporters not being able to give the same level of charitable giving as in the past. With that in mind, I would like to challenge you to consider your “abilities”.
The reality is that responsibility is not something that is put upon us or given to us; responsibility is a choice we make to use or not use our abilities. If you have followed our newsletter, then you might remember me saying that everyone has the “ability” to give of their time, talent, or treasure to help those in need through Hope4Healing. I am asking you to consider how you might be able to “respond” to our need to finish 2018 strong and prepare for 2019. Hope4Healing will continue to help those in need for perpetuity, but that does not mean that we do not have needs. Would you ask yourself, “do I have the ability, and what will be my response?” What time, talents, or treasure might you be able to use to “respond” to Hope4Healing’s “responsibility” to continue to serve those in need? Here are some ideas for how you might get involved:
Sign up for our newsletter
Become a monthly donor for any amount
Invite others to like and read our post on Facebook
Volunteer to help us process requests for help
Pray for us as we seek to serve
No matter how you “respond”, what “abilities” might you be called to use to help others through the Hope4Healing network.
Over the calendar year 2018, we have experienced an abundance of emotions, changes, expectations, and uncertainty. Maybe this year has held similar events for you; but regardless, it seems that most individuals can relate to the ebb and flow of life. We here at Hope4Healing did not know what 2018 would bring as our first year of being on our own as our own non-profit. We have enjoyed the support and encouragement of others like Josiah White’s Quakerdale Foundation, our partnering churches, agencies, businesses, individuals, and organizations, our volunteers, and our board of directors. We also wish to thank those who have given to support us financially like the Lennox-Quakderdale Golf Tournament Committee, various partnering churches, and individuals; this also includes the Higher Power Quartet who partnered with us to perform at a benefit concert to help support Hope4Healing. We are blessed!
To serve effectively requires that wise individuals take time to reflect on successes, failures, and lessons learned. I was reflecting on all of this with Daniel Smith, who was instrumental in starting Hope4Healing from concept to implementation along side the leadership of Quakerdale. I cannot imagine a better name for what we strive to do by God’s grace than that of Hope4Healing; and so, I asked him how the name came about. Dan said that the name came out of the process used to develop the network , and that he feels it is a testament to God’s goodness in seeing Hope4Healing continue to grow and help people in need.
We often say that we want to instill “Hope” to those who need “Healing”. This caused me to ask the question, “Why his hope important?” I can be a little bit of a nerd, or maybe it is because I am used to doing research; either way, I was curious if there was evidence how “Hope” can help impact individuals going through difficult times. What I found as I investigated this idea a little bit is quite remarkable. As seen in the picture on top of this blog, Emily Dickinson explains hope as, “…the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without words, and never stops…at all…” Although less eloquent, another writer put it this way, “A number of writers speak of hope in relationship to outcomes over which the individual believes he or she has some control. Jerome Groopman represents this point of view in his book, The Anatomy of Hope: “To have hope, then, is to acquire a belief in your ability to have some control over your circumstances’ (p. 26).” However, psychological stress is at its peak in precisely those situations that offer few, if any, options for personal control; meaning that the situations in which hope is most needed are the ones in which hope is most likely to be at low ebb or even absent (Folkman, 2010). In other words, hope is that way of being whereby circumstances do not dictate outcome or self-worth.
I know this may seem like it is getting a little too complicated, but it is important to understand the reality that hope is not just a good thing; hope is crucial to overcoming stress, disappointment, and confusion. Evidence shows with hope, people are more capable to find ways to be more productive, find options or solutions, and ask for help (Davis-Laack, 2015). When we think of those individuals, children, and families that we seek to serve through Hope4Healing, it is so very important that we help to instill hope so that they can find the path forward. It is also the reason why connecting them with a friendship partner who is there to listen, be that shoulder to cry on, or pray with them is so very important. You see, the missing component that I haven’t share with you, is that “Hope” can be taught through social connections(Davis-Laack, 2015). Who better to teach about “Hope” than a church filled with people who know the cost it took to secure their salvation, and have the supreme “Hope” of Christ who has kept all of His promises and never failed?
To find out more about how to get Hope or to partner with Hope4Healing to provide hope to those who don’t know where to find it call 855-584-HOPE (4673), submit a request form, or email us at email@example.com.
Chang, S. L., & Yeoun, K. H. (2016). The effects of hope, emotional intelligence, and stress on the self-esteem of rural elementary school students in Korea: The mediating effect of social support. Indian Journal of Science and Technology 9(26), 1-7, DOI: 10.17485/ijst/2016/v9i26/97278.
Davis-Laack, P. (2015, 04 15). Want Less Stress and More Happiness? Try Hope. Retrieved from Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/pressure-proof/201504/want-less-stress-and-more-happiness-try-hope
Folkman, S. (2010). Stress, coping, and hope. Psycho-Oncology, 901-908.